Take a Deep Breath.

I know Its been forever and a day. I have been Talking about Writing you guys, Iam ashamed to say I couldnt deliver. My wise words get lost in my head. I cant put them together and then they dont come out right.


Tonight is no different than the others. Except for I have time. 


Summer. I hate it. Mainly because theres kids running around everywhere. If you know me. You know I dont like other peoples kids. They are bad, and I cant spank them. Secondly summer is hated by me because things get jumbled, no organization, no strict schedules etc... I cant blame anyone but myself. I knew it would happen. I prayed to have guidance over the summer, and forgot to go half way. Im sure it was there, I just didnt make time to listen. This summer has sucked. I have had great nights, met amazing people, seen beautiful places, seen tragedy, cried over my grandmother, and have felt hope. Hope that things can always and will always change. Thats the beauty of this life. 




*Take a deep breath* My grandmother shes dying. Its sad, its hard. Being the person Iam, Iam very comfortable with death. Its probably because of my beliefs. Its harder to see her bleeding, hurting, and unresponsive, then to watch her die. I think she is content and will be happy with what is waiting for her. I remember growing up with her around and I am so grateful to have her here today. I do need to thank her for raising my amazing father along with his brothers and sisters. They are beautiful loving people and I would not be the woman Iam had she not demanded that they know the Lord. Iam grateful for her struggle for she has made mine, but a walk among many others. I love You Juanita Cobb Harkey. 


*Take a deep fresh breath of air* I love it here. Its Green. Its happy and I can sleep all day. Its raining. This is crazy. We are not in Texas anymore. Everyone is happy, of course we arent in Texas. Dance for me. I love this song. Sing to Me. Are you ok? Hes sexy. My legs hurt. I cant walk. Stem Please. I love you bestie. Thrust dance. Porch swing. Guitar. Can I keep you. This food sucks. Sing it Pastor. Why is she crying? Reading a good book. Happy Anniversary. Whos hand was that? Riding in cars with Boys. Dirt Road anthem. Enigma. Blueberry pancakes. Over Hard Bacon. Bear sightings. Wait for me. Dont let me talk to him. She did what? undisclosed desires. Heeeres Krejci! Lmbo. Half bubbles please. Round bed Morning meetings. He needs to slow down. Imma Bad driver. Stop talking. Tennessee Ill Be back. You Owe me. 


*Take another deep breath* He was broken in pieces. I dont even think he knows how he got there. He was laying on the rocks. Begging us to take of his shoes, where there were none. The flames lit up the night sky. You could hear the sirens still miles away. How was he crawling? His arm was broken. He kept trying to walk. His feet where twisted out of place due to his broken talus and tarsus. It was unreal. The car lay upside down in the ditch of a dirt road. Why was I led to this place? I was angry, shocked, depressed, shaken by my surroundings. I wished I had stayed home that night........But I didnt, I was here. Standing here accepting the consequences. Help me up, as he tries to use his mangled arm to push off the rocky ground. Then he falls back down. All I hope is that he cant feel the pain. He refused to announce if anyone else was in the automobile. Apparently he can not feel. His friend cant be saved.  I couldnt even tell it was a car. Do you know this Guy. He doesnt even know himself. So far gone. Take me home. I can not sleep. I cant function. After a Blessing, My troubled soul can finally rest. 




July Can suck it. Its a love hate thing.
I can say 
You did remind me how to feel. 
You reminded me that Karma has a middle name.
You also reminded me how Beautiful This earth can be, although tragic. 


I also rememembered how to forgive and Live. All you need to do is take those few deep breaths.....


And Go.